Shazleen Iylia .

This goes out to someone that was once the most important person in my life , I didn't realize it at the time , I cant't forgive myself for the way I treated you so , I don't really expect you to either , I'ts just... I don't even know . Just listen . You're the one that I want, the one that I need . The one that i gotta have just to succeed . When I first saw you , I knew it was real . I'm sorry about the pain i made you feel . That wasn't me , let me show you the way . I looked for the sun , but it's raining today . I remember when I first looked into your eyes it was like God was there , heaven in the skies . I wore a disguise cause I didn't want to get hurt . But I didn't know I made everything worse , you told me we were crazy in love , but you didn't care when push came to shove . If you loved me as much as you said you did , then you wouldn't have hurt me like I ain't shit , now you pushed me away like you never even knew me , I loved you with my heart , really and truly . I guess you forgot about the times that we shared when I would run my fingers through your hair , late nights , just holding you in my arms , I don't know how i could do you so wrong . I really wanna show you I really need to hold you , I really wanna know you like no one else could know you , You're number one , always in my heart , and now I can't believe that our love is torn apart . I need you and I miss you and I want you and I love you cause I wanna hold you I wanna kiss you you were my everything And i really miss you . I knew you gonna sit and play this with your new man , and then sit and laugh as you're holding his hand , the thought of that just shatters my heart , It breaks in my soul and it tears me apart . At times we was off I was scared to show you , now I wanna hold you until i can't hold you , without you everything seems strange , your name is forever planted in my brain . Damn it, I'm insane , take away the pain , take away the hurt , Baby , we can make it work , what about when you looked into my eyes , told me you loved me , as you would hugged me . I guess everything you said was a lie , I think about it , it brings tears to my eyes , now I'm not even a thought in your mind , I can see clearly , my love is not blind . I just wish everything could have turned out differently , I had a special feeling about you , I thought maybe you did too , you would understand , but no matter what , you'll always be in my heart you'll always be my baby . Our first day , it seemed so magical , I remember all the time that i had with you , remember when you first came to my house ? You looked like an angel wearing that blouse . We hit it off , I know it was real , but now I can't take all the pain that U feel , reach in your heart , I'm still there , I don't wanna hear that you no longer care . Remember the times ? remember when we kissed ? I didn't think you would ever do me like this , I didn't think you'd wanna see me depressed , I thought you'd be there for me , this I confess . You said you were my best friend , was that a lie ? Now i'm nothing to you , you're with another guy I tried , I tried , I tried , and I'm trying , now on the inside it feels like i'm dying . I do miss you , I just thought we were meant to be , I guess now, we'll never know , the only thing I want is for you to be happy , whether it be with me , or without me , I just want you to be happy . I love you Sha. Have a really long term relation :(